“Good work…. the both of you.” – J. Peterman, Seinfeld
This blog is going to be adult themed/x-rated. So if you’re lying about your age and you’re reading this somehow, don’t read on ok? Or at least keep on lying and pretend you’re older.
All of us here at Pomco thank you for your support.
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A while back I was talking with a friend about the ménage a trios’ concept… aka the threesome. And let’s face it, when you’re talking about threesomes you’re talking about quality topics of conversation.
I’ve never participated in one and to be frank, I was happy when one woman showed up, much less two. I guess I’m easy that way. Or, more of a loser, whichever you prefer.
I don’t think that I’m a threesome type guy anyway when I think of it. It seems more suited for a guy like this:
When I put thought into the subject, I think that the IDEA of a threesome is much better than the logistics of it. I’d guess the fantasy is more titillating than the reality.
As a dude, the idea of two women at once is sublime. But if it really happened… I can’t escape the thought that I’d be leaving two people disgruntled when all was said and done. After the impending 6-minutes to ejaculation, I imagine that I’d look something like this:
”Um, yeah… so…. You girls wanna get some pizza or something?”
I’m not against porn. As a matter of fact, I wasn’t against it for a good 20 minutes a few nights back. But I do think it can give people bad ideas of what is expected of someone. It’s so obvious that it’s make- believe, just like Hollywood in a way. I mean, I’m far from a stud over here… but I’m not sure that any guy can hold themselves in as long as these fellas who have two women slurping on him at the same time. I mean, really.
If that were I in that situation, I couldn’t look at them at all. That would be a certain early release. I couldn’t help myself. And I would have to think of REALLY unpleasant things during the act with the hope to try to contain myself…
“The dentist…..tax audit….spiders……”
”Prostate exam!! Losing a limb!! Carrot Top tickets”
And when it would get close, I’d give it a last ditch effort….
”HOOOOOOLOCAUSSSST!!!!”
It just would NOT be pretty.
And all of this is the idea of being with two women. This doesn’t even get into the hazard of a guy being the third person! Which I think is a terrible proposition for me particularly.
First of all, I don’t want a naked man that close to me at all, much less in a lovemaking situation. I’m not a homophobe, but I don’t want the unpleasant discovery that it wasn’t HER ass that I was grabbing for the last 5 minutes. Yikes!!!!
But the big killer for me is I do NOT like the idea of someone spunking on me, even accidentally.
You know, if the sex is good you’re almost in another place. So what happens if you lose the other guy sometime during the act, and it turns out that he’s standing up next to you about to go?!?!
You’ll hear : “I’m gonna come!!!”
And you’ll turn your head like an idiot…
”Hunnnnhhh?”
And then,
”AAHH!”
Ok. Let’s come right out and say it. NOBODY in this scenario wants THAT to happen. NOBODY.
If you could freeze frame each person’s face at that exact horrible moment, I think it would look like this:
Guy # 1:
Guy # 2:
Girl:
If I were the victim in this story, I can confidently say that I can never see either one of those people again. And I would hope they’d feel the same! If I were the other guy I would want it that way.
Guy # 1: “Hey man… you want to go shoot some pool or something later?”
Guy # 2: “Sorry dude… I came on your face. We’re through, you and me.”
So in conclusion, I have to say that the threesome is not for me at all.
At ALL.
That is, unless Kate Winslet asks me.
(I’m not a TOTAL idiot).
A foursome would be better: you could just eat the pizza and direct the other 3 … women.
Kate Winslet! I wish I were twins so I could love her twice as much!
very graphic facial features on this one. I rate it a Pomeroy 13 at least; maybe an “R”, or is it an “awwwwwwww” in Boston?
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Good point Ross… and with 4 people, you can divide the pizza up evenly.
A 13? Sweet! I’m hon-ahed. (In Bostonian for you)
planetross
January 10, 2009
Oh, C’mon! You didn’t really write this, did you? I am dying here. 63 years old screaming (more like screeching) out loud, all by myself..and Kate Winslet suddenly appears on my big screen TV!! I’m not kidding. Interviewed on the Golden Globes! Oh, what I wouldn’t give for Nancy O’Dell to ask her if she and Leonardo DiCaprio would like to have a three way with Pomdog!
You are beyond words on this one. But, I’m not sure I’m your photographer on this one, pal! But, to read about it? Goes direct to the “Best of Pomdog”.
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Thank you, Pat.
I wouldn’t anyone’s penis there with me… even Leo. I wouldn’t even be his wingman in that deal. Maybe she’d let me supply the towel.
w1kkp
January 12, 2009
Ok. I had to come back and look again at that first picture. There truly are no words for this. Is that you? Honestly, I am comparing hairlines thinking, “No way, he couldn’t have stuck on a mustache, asked his wife to take the photo whiling posing like this.” Or, I’m imagining you setting up the tri-pod and your five year old daughter coming in. Oh, don’t tell me. Goofy porn. Who knew there was this category in adult entertainment.
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Actually, that is me. And no… my wife didn’t take that picture. All of the pictures you see of me are taken from the camera in my macbook. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to take pictures of yourself doing these types of things?
That pic was taken in a hotel in Connecticut, so I didn’t have to worry about the daughter walking in. But, I may have to worry about her not speaking to me if she ever finds this pic when she gets older.
Oh, I had to go out of my way to buy that mustache. I parked the car, got out and went into a joke shop to buy that foolish thing. What is wrong with me?
w1kkp
January 12, 2009
Great stuff!
I’m reminded of some of a Joan Rivers routine when she was talking about faking orgasms. It went something like this, “so you think it’s only women who fake orgasms?” “What’s to stop a gay guy from moaning a bit and then just spitting on his parter’s back?”
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Thank you, Razz!
It also reminded me of The Naked Gun, when Leslie Neilson told Precilla Presley that he faked every orgasm.
Great stuff.
razzbuffnik
January 14, 2009
Well, the thought of you creating all of this in a hotel in Connecticut, complete with forethought of going to a joke shop, just adds to this post. I didn’t think it was possible, but it did make it even more over the top goofy porn!
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Thank you, Pat!
w1kkp
January 16, 2009
On that first shot, you look like Ron Jeremy the Hardest (Working) Man in Showbiz!
All your arguments make a whole lot of sense which is not to say I believe you’d necessarily refuse an invitation to partake. From what I hear about Kate Winslet, she was very motivated to make a movie about the Holocaust because she was tired of losing at the Oscars. Considering her two wins at the Golden Globes this year, your screaming Holocaust at the top of your lungs might actually turn her on. I would not recommend the use of the term in any other circumstance.
I’m going to have to wait for another post to add you to my blogroll. I do not want the parents of the children I photograph to think I am entertained by a debate over the merits of threesomes. That being said, it was very entertaining.
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Thank you, Nathalie!
You know, I can totally see why you don’t want innocent eyes seeing this one. That said, they may not like the next one either. But maybe the NEXT one…..
I could make a joke about Winslet and her golden globes, but methinks I will take the high road. (For once)
nathaliewithanh
January 17, 2009
[...] Very nice people and when they adopted this next pose I thought of Pommeroy’s post. [...]
All The Dumb Things » Blog Archive » Some people with style at “All Tomorrow’s Parties” on Cockatoo Island. Sydney, NSW, Australia
January 19, 2009
Kate Winslet is becoming more beautiful with age. I saw her on the cover of some magazine the other day and entertained many impure thoughts . . .
And, as if that’s not enough, she’s a wonderful actress. Daring. I love that about her . . .
Yeah, I’d have her over. But then I’d suggest we just share coffee and chat. I’d be woefully inadequate when business time came . . .
tysdaddy
January 26, 2009
Ok. Where are you? Still in that motel? It’s February. I’m going to be 64 on Sunday. I need all the laughs I can get.
w1kkp
February 5, 2009